The Cure To End My Life As A Single Man

That's right folks, you better read the title again, because if you are a single man I have found the secret that will make you so desirable to women, you'll be swimming in ladies by the end of this post. See, if you're like me you've often wondered how to land the lady you'll spend the rest of your life with. Sometimes it's as easy as talking to her, while to other's it's just being a ripped guy with chiseled good looks. But if you have the social skills around the ladies of a stucco wall and the body shape best described as spherical like myself, you have to go the extra mile.

For me, it begins with a move so simple in nature I know it will get rid of my lonely nights curled up in my bed with my beagle puppy down by my feet in the morning. Being a nice guy with a loving heart is great, but it you have the most devastating thing ever to a woman, you're cursed for life. Gentlemen, look in amazement as the key will be revealed, and ladies look away, because even seeing these things may make you go into a rage!




That's right THE JORT!!

Look at how even all-around good guy Tim Tebow becomes a hideous monster in these short jeans! Truly a horrifying look.

Ok, as I'm sure you've realized by now, I'm pro-jort, and hopefully with warmer temperatures I'll get to bust mine out again, but why are these garments so detested my the fairer sex, let's list possible reasons

1) They aren't jeans. That's true, they aren't, but the concept is the same. They are heavy duty shorts, and usually cheaper than khaki, so you know your man is waiting to spend that money on the most important thing in his life, you!

2) Women also hate jean shorts. This is less true than anything I can think of. Heard of Daisy Dukes, cut-off jean shorts worn my women to attract attention to the firmness and shape of their behind, therefore making them sexier to men. The Jort works the same way for men, we want to frame our calves in a nice way to show you that we have decent to good lower leg strength, therefore making it easier for use to run around, and pick heavy stuff up.

3) The redneck factor. Ladies, let me tell you a little something about myself. I live in the country with 2 tractors, a rabbit barn, a big yard, and a John Deere mower. If I didn't wear jean shorts I wouldn't be true to who I am as a person. I'm just a guy from the country, not a slick city dweller who gets a nice three piece suit. I'm much more at home with my jean shorts, a ball cap, and a t-shirt.

So, in closing, I say that if you want to find a date, it might be as easy as throwing the jorts out of your closet, but ladies, I ask you to let the man who wears jean shorts into your life, and maybe you might find what you've been looking for.